Umbrex Unleashed Podcast: David Nour on Relationship Economics

Consulting Firm Leaders, More Than Ever, Need to Double Down on Their Relationships as a Defensible Moat

Author

David Nour
October 30, 2025

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In Episode 624 of the Umbrex Unleashed Podcast, David Nour shares valuable tips on establishing and nurturing professional relationships. Nour is the author of 12 books, translated into 8 languages, including the best-seller Relationship Economics, the focus of this discussion.

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Most people we meet want to tell us how great they are.​
That's like pushing a rope. We don't care.
What I want to do is to leave people wanting more of me.​
So I ask a lot of questions about them.​
And then of course they ask, "Well, what do you to?"​
I answer, "We activate the hidden value of relationships."​
If they ask, "What does that mean?" I turn it around.
Instead of answering, I have a list of questions I ask:
+ What’s your confidence level in the quality, the freshness and the relevance of your contacts?
+ Do you have an actual written list of relationships you’re neglecting?
+ What is one thing you would fix about the manner in which you engage and influence other people?
+ What takes you entirely too long to accomplish when it comes to your relationships?​
Most people don’t have answers to those questions.​
What I leave them with is the idea that this guy may know a thing or two about relationships, and he might be useful to helping us grow.​
And then they give me their contact info and suggest we have a follow-up discussion.
- David Nour

Show notes

David Nour, author of Relationship Economics, discusses the six phases of strategic relationships. He emphasizes intentionality and a portfolio approach to relationship investing. The six phases he uses throughout the episode are: mapping, relating, nurturing, sustaining, requesting, and capitalizing.

Different Levels of Relationship Management

Nour explains that when a challenge arises, the first questions should be: Who do I need? Who do I know? How do I connect the dots? He contrasts haphazard outreach, simple lists, and CRM-driven discipline, underscoring the importance of intentionality and consistency. He highlights relationship mapping to achieve specific goals—beginning with identifying targets, nurturing, and sustaining relationships. In a pharma example, he shows how to identify key companies and contacts and introduces the ideal relationship profile—focusing on specific individuals (not logos) because relationships are built between people. He also stresses finding “lookalikes”: individuals whose values are aligned, who value and respect the relationship.

Cold Outreach to Build Relationships

On building new relationships—especially via cold outreach—Nour recommends focusing on fewer but better-qualified leads: go where potential clients already are (e.g., micro-events), be more interested than interesting, and engage with thoughtful questions. Quick, consistent follow-up turns initial introductions into meaningful relationships. He shares specific questions he uses to spark valuable conversations and secure meetings.

Initial Conversations in Relationship Building

Nour critiques “intellectually lazy” openings like “Tell me about your situation.” Instead, come prepared with a hypothesis based on research and use questions to set the agenda. Authenticity matters: each consultant should develop their own style. To avoid being forgettable, respectfully provoke prospects to think differently.

Unpacking the Four Middle Phases

Nour details the four phases that form the “engine” of relationship development:

  • Relating: Share relevant stories so prospects see themselves in similar situations.

  • Nurturing: Add value with ideas, checklists, and stress-testing to build trust and credibility.

  • Sustaining: Maintain momentum over time; help the buyer buy; enable internal champions.

  • Requesting: Earn the right to ask for deeper access (e.g., org charts, NDAs, stakeholder conversations) to better understand needs and increase impact.

Capitalizing on Relationships After Project Completion

Two-thirds of the way through a project, identify existing, impending, and created needs to link projects and avoid losing momentum post-delivery. Nour shares how he invites senior executives from one client to speak at another client’s event (non-competing industries), creating an ecosystem of seasoned leaders who become walking case studies.

Climbing the Relationship Value Pyramid

Nour bridges the gap between recognizing the importance of relationships and harnessing their significance with three ideas:

  • Intelligent Relationship Management: Set relationship-centric outcomes, identify pivotal contacts, and make consistent “favor economy” deposits.

  • Strategic Relationship Planning: Map company-to-company relationships from now to next (champions, cadence, outcomes).

  • Relationship Value Pyramid: Categorize by depth and relevance—situation, investment, portfolio, recall (2 a.m.)—and apply a portfolio approach with a “three-touch rule” before reallocating attention.

Reciprocity in Relationship Building

Nour reviews gratitude, reciprocity, and paying it forward as observable behaviors. Twice a year, he reviews his top 100 relationships to prioritize where to invest next. He also mentions Avnir, his AI platform that builds a private relationship vault from existing data sources and prompts context-relevant actions to deepen connections. 

Timestamps

  • 05:40: Mapping & Ideal Relationship Profiles

  • 10:20: Building New Relationships (Cold Outreach)

  • 22:16: The Six Phases: Mapping, Relating, Nurturing, Sustaining, Requesting, Capitalizing

  • 28:31: Capitalizing on Relationships

  • 35:51: Relationship Economics Framework

  • 42:34: Portfolio Approach & Three-Touch Rule

  • 48:41: Activating the Untapped Power of Relationships

Links

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