The Six Phases of Strategic Relationships in Enterprise Sales

Ever wonder why some sales professionals seem to effortlessly build lasting client relationships while others struggle to get past the first meeting? The answer lies in a strategic approach I've uncovered through years of research and real-world application.

Over the past two decades, we've conducted a longitudinal Relationship Economics quiz with over 10,000 data points to date, and the results are clear: top-performing enterprise sales professionals consistently use six distinct phases in their relationship development process. These six phases aren't just theoretical constructs. They're practical, actionable strategies that, when implemented effectively, can achieve material results.

Let's break down these six phases, starting with the foundation: Mapping.

Phase 1

Mapping

Mapping goes beyond identifying an account. It focuses on pinpointing the critical relationships within that account and understanding the entire relationship value ecosystem. We need to ask: What are the critical levers in the success of this business, who controls those levers, and what do they need to act? Who are the most vital enablers of their success, and what relationships are holding them back/anchoring them from strategically moving forward?

I want to understand better every strategic relationship that impacts their business – from outside advisors to the relationship between various functions, geographies, and remote business unit autonomy from corporate HQ. I place the executive relationships at the center and construct an ecosystem around them. Who influences their thinking, decision-making criteria, and evaluation of various strategic options? What are their most pressing concerns?

This level of due diligence mirrors what many organizations go through for a merger or an acquisition (M&A) event. You must chart your relational path in your journey from now to next, identify critical relationships you must nurture, and determine the most effective approaches to engage and influence them. The goal isn't to convince or convert but to nurture a mutually value-based relationship where you become a trusted advisor, a valuable sounding board, and an insightful ally they can't succeed without.

Phase 2

Relating

Once you've mapped the terrain, it's time to establish that initial connection. This connection is where my trust formula comes into play: credibility plus empathy multiplied by consistency over time.

Demonstrate credibility through insightful questions. Show empathy by understanding their challenges and opportunities. Maintain consistency across every interaction – in each interaction, you often have one of two options: you'll either enhance/elevate your relationship or dilute it; it all depends on how you show up!

A crucial aspect of relating is what I coach as Listening Louder. This intentionality translates into lowering your agenda and needs to make time and space for focusing on the client's wants and needs (often described interchangeably). I once met a CEO for coffee every six weeks for several years. Those conversations focused on his challenges and opportunities and laid the groundwork for a relationship that has spanned two decades, with us working together across multiple companies and industries.

Phase 3

Nurturing

Many sales reps and companies suffer from "new logo-itis" - an obsession with constantly acquiring new accounts. I disagree with this strategy if you become myopic and only care about net new. Nurturing is all about land and expand. Don't misconstrue my point; I don't know of any business that doesn't need new business.

The relationship starts after the sale. Only when you nurture and focus on deepening an existing relationship ecosystem through real and sustainable value creation can you grow that relationship. Once you've established a foundation of trust, demonstrated unwavering integrity, and advocated on their behalf even when it didn't benefit you, you demonstrate a vested interest in their success. You also understand more about their relationships and others within their ecosystem who could be struggling with similar challenges, pursuing similar upside opportunities, and could benefit from your solution. This more astute investment of your time, effort, and (often limited) resources can help you grow your business relationships intelligently and profitably.

How do you nurture these relationships? You have to care and personalize your interactions. I once had a client traveling to China for the first time. I bought him an Eyewitness travel book (our favorite, as they're highly visual and written by locals), marked key sections with sticky notes, and delivered it with a personalized note. The cost? About $30 and an hour of my time. However, the impact on our relationship was invaluable because I helped create a great (personal) experience for this executive client and his wife.

This kind of personalization, going beyond your immediate business interests, truly endears you to your clients.

Phase 4

Requesting

Three types of relationship developers are givers (God bless Mother Teresa), takers (who only reach out when they need something), and relationship investors. While nurturing relationships is crucial, we can't be pure givers in business—we all have mortgages to pay. So, at some point, we need to make asks.

Requesting is about balancing giving and receiving. For example, I might ask for the organizational structure or a senior executive's strategic priorities early on. It's not to publish it but to understand what's at the top of their minds, who's who, and the critical roles and responsibilities in their organization. Testing the trust barometer early in the relationship also highlights where you have some work to do.

I often sign NDAs with clients because I want to go beyond what's on their website. I want to understand their strategy, what's working in their time, effort, and resource investments, and what isn't. This balanced approach builds a peer relationship, not a subordinate one. If my solution addresses a strategic need, I don't want to get delegated to tacticians.

If someone's uncomfortable sharing, that's a cue to step back and nurture the relationship further, deeper, and with a substantially more significant impact. Remember, this process isn't sequential—it's an engine with mapping and capitalizing at the ends and the middle phases constantly in motion. 

Phase 5

Sustaining

Sustaining is all about taking the long-term view of your most valuable relationships. If you're clear on your ideal relationship profile, you want to work with these people not just this year but five and ten years from now. So, how do you maintain and grow these relationships over time across a broad spectrum of geographies, roles, and responsibilities?

I've been fortunate to have clients with me for 15 or 20 years. Some have hired me across three or four different jobs. The key is to stay in touch as their situations change and continue to add value. Your value-add doesn't always have to be financial—sometimes, it's about being willing to invest time and effort to touch base and help however possible.

Let me share a recent example. I spoke to a CEO whom I'd known since she was a startup VP of Sales this past Tuesday. Initially, she was interested in executive coaching, but her small company couldn't afford it. I was pleasantly surprised to hear she would invest in her personal and professional growth. I significantly reduced my executive coaching fee to work with her. Over the next several years, we stayed in touch, and recently, her board picked her to become her now much bigger company's new CEO. When I called to congratulate her, she expressed an immediate interest in us working together again on several fronts. Even though we hadn't done business together for some time, the fact that I stayed in touch and added value over that time has turned into a new client and a significant opportunity to impact their business materially. 

This long-term view requires consistent engagement. It's about follow-through—making introductions, recommending books, and being a sounding board. These ongoing interactions strengthen your business relationships, setting the stage for future opportunities. And if you want a financial incentive, long-term relationships have a dramatically lower customer acquisition cost (CAC) and a more excellent lifetime value (LTV). That's a recipe for intelligent and profitable growth of every business.

Phase 6

Capitalizing

If you've effectively executed phases one through five, you've earned the right to capitalize on the relationship. Many enterprise sellers struggle with bridging relationship creation and capitalization because they don't execute the middle phases consistently, intently, or strategically.

Capitalizing is about becoming invaluable to your relationships. You can only do that when you leverage strong relationships you've invested in to remove friction, solve problems they haven't anticipated, and dramatically if not profoundly, impact their business. You capitalize on your relationships when you've solidified internal champions and sponsors—people who advocate for you when you're not in the room. Champions and sponsors become crucial in the viability of the relationships, particularly when you make mistakes or somehow let them down (often unintentionally). You want people defending you, saying, "They screwed up, but they're genuinely good and do great work."

The strength of your relationship is truly tested when faced with adversity. How do people react when a competitor beats you? Do they still advocate for you behind closed doors? Are they eager to bring you back into the fold? Remember, time can be a great healer, offering opportunities to reconnect and rebuild trust when you've misstepped, misspoke, or were outright wrong.

When measuring the ROI of relationship-based selling, look beyond just closed deals. Consider referrals, recommendations, and the timeliness of communication. Are your contacts responsive? Are they recommending you to others?

Capitalizing is all about realizing the mutual value you've built together. It's the culmination of your mapping, relating, nurturing, requesting, and sustaining investment. Determine where you stand in the relationship and how to leverage it for mutual benefit.

Final Thoughts

The six phases of strategic relationship building in sales are practical tools that can transform your approach to business relationships. By intentionally implementing these phases, you stop chasing logos and create lasting, valuable connections that drive long-term success.

Remember, technology should enhance, not replace, these relationships. While most sales pipelines and CRM systems aren't mapped to these phases, our industry's most successful professionals are often subconsciously applying these principles.

These six phases separate transactional sellers from true enterprise outcome-based value creators. They form your competitive moat, significantly reduce your acquisition cost, and build a barrier against competitors. In essence, they become your sustainable differentiator in a crowded market.

As you reflect on your approach to relationship building in sales, consider how you can move beyond contacts and touches to develop genuine, deep, and mutually valuable relationships. These relationships will ultimately drive your success and create lasting value for your organization.

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